Dear Stingers,
This morning I got to school early with my friends. Our zero period teacher was not present so we felt it was necessary to play a round of basketball in the parking lot. As we tossed the ball back and forth, warming up for the NBA level game we were about to play, I was distracted and chucked the ball towards the pond. Without even thinking my instincts kicked in and I went diving, my body slicing through the air as my hand reached for the ball. Little did I know the ball and I were heading straight for the pond. I hit the surface of the water head on and came out covered in green gunk. I feel so gross, wet and sticky and can’t go to math class and I truly do feel like a fish out of water. HELP!

Dear Fishy,
That is totally not embarrassing. You took one for the team, maybe work on your executive functioning skills when it comes to decisions. ALL of what happened was 100% avoidable. One thing to add is that the bottom floor of the high school building now smells like fish. Take a shower.